Crossroads - Chapter

by a campbell

Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, PG-13

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"Hi, Clark. Thanks for coming. It means a lot."

Lana greeted Clark with the brightest smile she could muster. Despite her anger, and her vow of vengeance, it was good to be out and here at the Beanery, away from the mad hamster-wheel of her own thoughts and raw emotions. And she’d expected to find him here just like this when she arrived, hiding that stomach of his behind the table of the most secluded booth. Still thinking he was fooling her, the idiot.

Hands clasped on the table in front of him, Clark smiled up at her, but his eyes were troubled. Lana faltered as her heart twisted in her chest, because, no matter how much she hated him now, he was still so beautiful. But she couldn’t let herself think about that. Not now.

Never again.

"Hi."

She sat down.

**
On the drive over, with a few minutes to consider, she’d been a bit alarmed at the depth of her anger and hatred. Because she’d loved Clark and Lex. She really had. Clark was the sweet boy next door who yearned after her and had time to console her when grief for her lost parents grew too heavy to bear, or when Whitney was too busy with football or his other friends to pay her sufficient attention. And Lex, who was once like an older brother to her: affectionate, teasing, always there to set her straight and ask her if she’d considered all her options before making a business decision. Always a shoulder for her to cry on when Clark was being more cryptic and standoffish than usual. They’d both loved her. Now she was on the outskirts, and alone once again.

It always seemed to end up that way. Everyone wanted her. But no one wanted her enough to stay with her. Over the past weeks, she herself had passed the point of grief and unhappiness at the realization, journeyed through anger, and was now strengthened by sheer force of will and committed, stripped of any weakness.

Now there was Lionel. Who was right. Though she had no love for him, she’d cast her lot in with his. Because Lionel could help her obtain the one thing in life that still held some appeal.

Power.

Power was all that remained when the people you loved left you, betrayed you, disappeared. With him, and through Clark’s child. Which would be hers.

Lex and Clark had cheated her of her chance to be a mother. Both of them, Lex with his callous disregard and Clark with his fickle behavior. Clark and Lex weren’t fit to be parents to such a special child. But she was. She was special--everyone said so. She had overcome so much adversity, her parents leaving her, Nell leaving her...She could make something of herself by raising a child as special as herself. She’d devote herself to the task with all her heart, with every fiber of her being.

She’d have what was due her. And she wouldn’t look back.

They owed her. Both of them.

**

"Lana?" Clark was watching her, quizzical, troubled. He started to reach across the table toward her hand, but checked himself, swallowing hard.

"Sorry," Immediately, Lana put on her brightest grin. "I was just thinking...about back when we used to get together for ‘real’ dates."

He looked away, abashed, and she continued. "But thanks for meeting me again, Clark. You have no idea how helpful this is."

A rueful smile. "I’m glad. But, Lana--"

She leaned toward him with an earnestness she was far from feeling. "How’s Lex?"

Clark’s face fell. "I don’t know," he said with a sigh. "He hasn’t spoken to me for the last couple of days."

"Oh, I’m sorry to hear that." She hoped she concealed effectively the jump of joy she felt at his comment. The plan was working.

She hoped she sounded entirely innocent as she asked, "Where is he now?"

"In Metropolis. He’s been staying there late--gets home after I’m asleep, leaves before I’m awake. He acts like this when he’s really mad about something."

"I remember," she said with a smile she hoped was sufficiently self-deprecating, even as she watched for the small flinch that showed her comment had hit home.

Clark took a deep breath and fixed her with a steady gaze. "Lana, I think he found out that I met you last week."

"How could he know that? You said you didn’t tell him." Lana felt a crazy urge to giggle well up in her throat, because sometimes, Clark was so dense. She knew full well that not only was Lex a brilliant detective, but he had surveillance that was not to be believed, and if Clark didn’t know that by now--

"You know how smart he is and how good he is at finding things out." Clark looked down at the tabletop. "Well, I’ll bet he knows, and now he’s so mad at me he’s giving me the freeze."

"I’m sorry." Lana let her face go glum and serious as well. Her small, manicured fingers plucked at a paper napkin in the metal holder.

"I don’t know why I thought this would work. Lana, you and I--we’re going to have to stop these meetings."

She shook her head, letting the corners of her mouth droop even further. "Clark, I don’t understand. We went over this all last time. We’ve been friends for so long. After all we’ve been through: is one afternoon or an evening too much to ask?"

Clark was clearly wrestling with grief and shame. "Lana, I’m really sorry I’ve put you through so much. We can’t meet any more. It’s not fair to any of us: you, me, or Lex. I know we’ve been friends for years, but we’re going to have to take a break. I’m sorry."

She bowed her head. "Even though you’re with Lex now, I still thought you cared enough about me to--" She commanded tears to well in her eyes as his hand fumbled for hers across the table. She glanced up at him, eyes brimming, then back down again.

Clark looked away, shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Lana, I’ve always cared about you. Trouble is, I can’t keep myself from caring too much. When you’re around, I still make all the wrong choices. I never meant to hurt you, ever. I’ll always care about you. I know someday you'll find the right guy--the one meant just for you."

"Maybe," she said shortly.

"If you ever need help or anything, I promise I’ll be there. But I can’t meet you just...socially any more. Lex and I are a family, now, and, well..." He took a deep breath. "Three’s a crowd."

You mean four, don’t you?, was Lana’s bitter thought. She tossed her dark hair back over her shoulder. "I’m used to being hurt by you, Clark, though you’d think I’d have built up more of a tolerance by now."

He looked away. "I’m sorry," he said again, and Lana regretted that, back when they were dating, she hadn’t gifted him with a t-shirt emblazoned with that message. Did he realize exactly how much time he spent apologizing for things?

"Okay," she said in a clipped voice as she pushed her cup away. "I don’t agree, but I respect your wishes. Maybe in a few months, you guys will be secure enough in your relationship"--and she saw him wince--"to realize that I’m no threat. That I only want happiness for both of you. That I can get beyond what happened, even if neither of you can."

"Ouch," Clark flinched visibly, but then smiled. "Thanks for understanding, Lana. I hope, in time, we’ll be able to do that, too. Lex and I have had our problems, and first we have to work those out. Maybe after that, all three of us can have a fresh start to our friendship." Lana noticed how he stressed, ever so slightly, the word "three." So no more solitary coffee dates, then.

It was time. She slipped her hands under the table to unlatch her purse, which rested on her lap.

"Now, I’m going to go home and wait up for Lex so we can get started on those repairs tonight." With a tremulous smile, Clark finished his drink and set his glass on the table. Lana watched, and waited, and within moments the color drained from his face.

She reached out and laid a comforting palm on his wrist with an expression of concern. "Clark, are you okay?"

Clark blinked. "Yeah," he said in a weak voice. His trembling fingers gripped the edge of the table. "Just a little dizzy."

"Maybe some fresh air would help. Let me walk you to your car."

"I walked," Clark protested, with a shake of his head. He leaned on one elbow, panting, then gave a little gasp.

"Well, then, I’ll give you a ride. I can drop you at the mansion gate if you don’t want me on the property."

"No," Clark, pale as death, rose to his feet. Lana tried to take his arm, but he pulled away, clutching his jacket around him. "You don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay. Just--" He stumbled toward the back door, coughing and beginning to gag.

But she followed close behind him, closing her purse and concealing the small chunk of green meteor rock from view. This was going even better than she’d hoped.

**

Despite her resolve, she still wasn’t able to watch when Lionel’s thugs slipped from the shadows with more and bigger chunks of the glowing green rocks clutched in their gloved hands. She turned to look at autumn sweaters and slacks in the window of the boutique next to the Beanery a "Back to School," display, trying to tune out the scuff of shoes and the struggle behind her on the deserted street. She let a fingertip trail down the glass, trying not to listen as she heard Clark cry out, a sharp, desperate sound, and then the thud of the van door slamming shut.

"All completed as arranged, Miss Lang." She turned slowly round as the leader of the gang approached her. She raised her chin and gazed steadily into the man’s dark eyes, noting the cruel set of his lips and sharp angle of his stubbled jaw. "Our work here is finished. Mr. Luthor is waiting for you at home."

Home. The word kindled a warm glow inside her. Lionel. She had a home now, and a life opening up before her. So why this feeling of foreboding, of guilt? She would not let herself dwell on this. It had to be done.

Still, Lana shivered, suddenly cold. She shoved a hand in her jacket pocket and fumbled for her car keys.

No reason for her to care. Not any more.

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