Crossroads - Chapter

by a campbell

Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, PG-13

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Over breakfast next morning, Lex aimed for casual as he poured cream into his china coffee cup and stirred.

"Clark, about the evening I went to Kansas City."

He paused, giving his remark a moment to sink in. Clark’s own spoon poised over a bowl of sugared oatmeal with milk. Lex deliberately resisted looking up at his face as he stirred, the clink of sterling against fine china the only sound. Breakfast in the kitchen at the stainless steel table was a near-sentimental tradition for them, born in the early days when Clark’s meal was naught but a hasty bowl of cold cereal downed on his hurried way out the door. There was the inevitable pressing need to get home before his parents rolled out of bed to feed the livestock and make breakfast for themselves.

"A Daniel Beakman from Thompson Enterprises came by here to meet with me. He confused his dates and telephoned me right after he left town. I’d given him my name and yours as contacts. He said he stopped by the mansion, asked for you and was told you were out." He sipped, only then glancing up abruptly to meet Clark’s troubled gaze.

"He couldn’t have." And Lex could almost see the blood drain from Clark’s cheekbones as he set down his spoon on the stainless steel table with a soft clang. "I was here the whole time you were gone." He hesitated, gaze darkening, white teeth worrying his lower lip. "I--I did go to bed early, though--about seven."

Lex sat back in his chair, observed Clark’s uneasy swallow and glance off toward the window. Noted that, though he picked his spoon back up and dipped it in the oatmeal again, he didn’t raise it to his mouth, but just pushed small mounds of the cereal back and forth in the bowl.

"If you’d let me know someone was coming, I’d have stayed up." Clark reached for his milk glass and lifted it to his lips, but didn’t meet Lex’s gaze.

No, Clark. Please don’t do this. Lex beat down the thought as Clark set his glass back down on the table.

"You're sure about that?"

"Of course I’m sure. Maybe Anthony and Kim didn’t know I was home. Or forgot, or something." Clark raised a hand to brush droplets of milk from his lower lip, drew a deep breath, then looked up at Lex with one of those big, beautiful grins. And then said it.

"Come on, Lex. Would I lie to you?"

Lex threw down his napkin, shoved back his chair, and left the room.

**

Clark shoved his bowl away, his appetite only a memory.

He could feel the shamed blush creeping up his cheeks. He’d wanted desperately to call after Lex, but something held him back.

Guilt.

If it weren’t for that, he’d just shrug and figure Lex had a serious case of the pre-baby jitters. But he knew this was his fault. He’d really gotten himself in a jam. A big one. By trying to help Lana behind Lex’s back, he was betraying their vow to be honest with each other.

Lex clearly suspected something. And, well, he himself was getting to be a worse liar all the time.

He sighed, dejected. Whenever it came to Lana, he usually thought with his guilt rather than his head. It had pretty much always been that way. She was his biggest weakness, except for Lex.

Lana was alone now. All alone. She had no one. She’d always been so sad about losing her parents, in the meteor shower for which he still couldn’t shake his even bigger sense of responsibility. He hadn’t been able to be the man for her, the man she wanted, and he’d taken her chance of happiness with Lex from her as well. No matter how important his own relationship with Lex was to him, if she wanted to meet once a week or so just for some companionship, he just couldn’t bring himself to refuse.

He sighed again.

She’d left another message on his voice mail asking him to come back to The Beanery on Friday night. Today was Wednesday. True to his promise, he’d already written it in his datebook, but now, well...this morning’s uncomfortable breakfast conversation had made up his mind for him.

Lex was too smart to be fooled for very long. Continuing to see Lana was just taking too big a chance. Much as he wanted to help her, be there for her, he couldn’t risk losing Lex.

That was one big risk. And besides, concealing the baby was getting harder every day. He couldn’t zip his jeans at all any more, and only a couple of his shirts were still big enough to cover his belly and allow him to look like a normal guy.

Normal. Clark winced at the thought.

He was taking a colossal chance by going out at all.

Much as he cared about Lana, much as he'd always--yeah, love her--he had to let her go.

Lex was his future, his best friend, his mate, his everything. Lex was the father of his child. He’d done enough himself already to jeopardize their relationship.

It had to stop. He’d tell Lana that this couldn’t continue, that it would be better for them not to meet any more. If he had to cast all pride away and plead with her to understand, he would. And he’d try somehow to help her feel better about herself, and to convince her that there was hope for her future. As pretty as she was, and as much as she had going for her, if she just gave it some time, she couldn’t lose.

He’d go to the Beanery one last time, and then he’d never, ever lie to Lex again.

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