Crossroads - Chapter 22

by a campbell

Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, PG-13

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The Beanery was a safe bet. Lex didn’t know he was here. No one knew.

The Beanery was so freshman year. None of Clark’s friends came there any more. Which was the main reason he’d picked it. The sunny yellow and green umbrellas on the sidewalk outside, hanging strands of lights inside: Long time no see, Clark reflected wistfully. He hadn’t realized how he’d missed the place.

How often he’d wandered in here during the fall and winter of his first year in high school, looking around for Lana, not admitting to himself that he really hoped he’d run into Lex. Coffee or hot chocolate, study sessions, companionable chats about finances, fathers, and quarterbacks. Could nearly five years really have passed since then?

Once the Talon opened, switching refreshments allegiance had been bound up in shoring up Lana, supporting Lex, and helping both of them make a go of their new business. Clark never drank that much coffee, anyway, so it had been a while since he’d been here, and...he was really nervous.

Lex was in Kansas City and not due back till around midnight. He would be hopping mad if he knew that Clark had made plans to meet Lana here at seven o’ clock.

Last night in bed, he’d indicated to Clark that the three messages from Lana on his Luthorcorp voicemail that day were three too many.

"Both of us tried, Clark. To be anything and everything to her, and it still wasn’t enough. It was never enough. After what she did to you last spring, my patience is exhausted. I don’t want her back in our lives."

Clark, lying on top of the covers because of the heat, shifted uncomfortably. Lex was rarely this outspoken about his likes and dislikes. Clark didn’t mention that he’d received his first call from Lana that afternoon on his own cell, or that he’d answered, in spite of seeing her name on the display.

"Lex--"

"No arguments. If you get a call from her, don’t answer. And if she tries to get you to agree to see her, say no, Clark. First and last, she’s bad news. A succubus."

Clark figured he should probably be dead-on certain what a succubus was, but he had only a vague notion. Nothing good, he knew that much.

Lex glanced over at him, and moved closer. "I know you, and how soft you go when she’s around. She’ll lay one of her famous guilt-trips on you and you’ll cave and do whatever she asks." His fingers trailed down Clark’s bare arm as his voice dropped to the pitch of quiet intimacy that Clark loved. "I mean it, Clark. I don’t want anything upsetting you right now."

And this is definitely not helping. Clark looked away, troubled yet moved by the warmth and concern in Lex’s gaze. He gnawed his lower lip, realizing they should probably get off this subject, but somehow powerless to stop.

"Lex, I’m afraid she’ll do something serious. She gets so desperate when she’s rejected that she can’t think straight. Remember what happened right after I broke up with her last spring?" The incident hadn’t ended well for any of them. Clark often thought back on those precious few minutes beyond time and space spent with his father, but Lex wouldn’t even talk about the time he’d spent on the threshold of death.

Lex made a scoffing sound, then said with exaggerated patience. "One of these days, Lana Lang is going to have to take responsibility for her own actions and decisions. But I’m not holding my breath." He punched, then fluffed, his pillow, then lay back down, continuing his grumbling monologue.

"You should be staying in for the most part, anyway. Those untucked shirts aren’t going to work for that much longer."

Great. Thanks for the reminder, Clark thought, but didn’t say. Instead, he reached over to draw Lex close. “Lex, relax. You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” He touched his lips to Lex’s brow, his palm coasting over his bare scalp.

Lex stirred to raise himself on an elbow and leaned down to place a soft kiss on Clark’s cheekbone. "Your kindness will be your undoing some day, Clark."

He reached over to turn out the bedside lamp, then settled down on the mattress with his back to Clark, and soon his even, regular breathing told Clark he slept.

Despite being bone-tired himself, Clark lay awake for a while after the conversation.

Ordinarily, he’d be amused and touched at Lex’s being such a mother hen. Instead, he was suddenly filled with apprehension about his plan.

Lana. Clark thought back on their last in-person conversation. She’d screamed at him to get out of her life, that she and Lex were engaged to be married. A lie. At least Lex said it was a lie, and the way things were now, Clark had to believe him. If he still even suspected Lex of dishonesty, he had no business living at the mansion.

Lex had never shared the details about their breakup, but Clark knew Lana well enough to know that, with all her issues about being abandoned, being alone, she must have been devastated. He hated having been the one to have yet again caused her more pain.

So what was he doing here? He wasn’t about to tell her about the baby--that would be a bad idea for more reasons than he could begin to list. So why should he feel guilty about keeping it from her?

Clark sighed and stirred his thick strawberry milkshake with the striped straw. Maybe Lex was right and he was too soft. Seeing her might mean even more temptation to divulge the secret. The secrets, all of them—why stop at one?

Why didn’t I say no? Tell her I was too busy to come here tonight, or doing something else? But he already knew. It was his fault that Lana had lost nearly every chance of happiness that came along for her. All starting with that meteor shower when they were kids. No way could he make that up to her. Then he’d broken up with her again and again, and finally ruined her relationship with Lex. Maybe if it hadn’t been for him, it could’ve worked between Lex and Lana. Maybe, in another time, another life, it could have worked between Lana and him, the way he'd dreamed, way back in junior high (before Lana even knew he was alive), that it someday might. Despite everything that had happened between them, despite the fact that he loved Lex, now and forever, Lex was right: Lana was still one of his major weaknesses.

So here he was.

He’d chosen the most secluded booth in the place, and the one with the deepest seats and highest table, the one that could best conceal his now-sizable belly. Lex was right; this morning he’d had to switch shirts twice to find one that provided enough concealment, and he’d worn a jacket for the trip in to the coffee shop even though it was the middle of summer. He hoped desperately that the conversation wouldn’t last too long--frequent bathroom breaks were crucial these days--and that nothing would occur that would necessitate getting out of his seat.

Clark no longer took unfair advantage of his x-ray vision, now that he and Lex were back together. He wouldn’t x-ray inside himself to check on the baby. He’d wait to see him when he arrived, the same way Lex had to wait. A tiny foot, or what felt like a foot, nudged at his left rib, tickling a little. Clark slid a palm between the table and his body.

Hey, little guy. No distractions. Stay still, just for a bit.

He took a deep breath and turned his thoughts to Lex, as he so often did these days when he felt scared or unsure. Their love, and being together at last, was worth everything. Clark chuckled as he recalled Lex’s excitement when the new crib was delivered last week, along with the Star Wars mobile and the antique rocking horse. Still wrestling with his own superstitious notions that too much excitement this early couldn’t be good, he couldn’t help but smile at the precious memories that he hoped would give him strength to face what lay ahead. The birth, physical agony without a doubt--but first, the meeting with Lana.

I’m sorry, Lex, he thought. But this is something I have to do.

**

Lana breezed in and slid into the seat across from him. "Hi, Clark." She shook her raincoat off her shoulders without bothering to hang it up.

Clark greeted her with as big a grin as he could muster. "Hi." He took a slow sip of his shake, trying to keep his guard up and not process how pretty she looked. Dark sweater and jeans hugging her slim figure. Same perfect makeup accenting her delicate features, hair pulled back neatly into a bun and secured with a pair of chopsticks.

Lana folded her dripping umbrella and tucked it under the table. "Did you know it’s pouring outside? Maybe it’ll cool things off."

The bobbed-haired waitress appeared instantly. “Tall mocha latte,” Lana said with an offhand smile.

Clark set his cup on the table and tried to match her casual tone. "What’s up?"

Lana drew a deep breath. "I wanted to talk with you." She leaned both elbows on the table and fixed her dark eyes on him. "Ever since our last conversation, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind."

Clark’s lips curved into a rueful smile. "You were pretty definite about not wanting me within at least a fifty-mile radius."

Lana’s smile faltered a little, but she ignored the comment. "I tried to call Lex, too, but he wouldn’t take my calls. He was pretty angry with me." A wistful sigh.

Clark opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He couldn’t very well disagree, but he didn’t want to hurt Lana even more than she’d been hurt already. So he just shrugged and looked down at the table.

"I won’t say none of it matters, but I know I was out of line, Clark, and I want to apologize. To both of you." She nodded to the waitress as the girl set her beverage on a coaster.

"Thanks," said Clark. He couldn’t remember Lana ever apologizing to him before.

She reached across the table to clasp his hand, and he let her take it. "Clark, I want you to think about this. We were a couple on again, off again, and could never get things to work between us. But we’ve been through so much together." She gazed earnestly into his eyes. "Our relationship may have changed, but it would mean so much to me to keep you in my life as a friend. And Lex, too, of course. He’s done a lot for me, ever since freshman year."

"Lana, I don’t think you and I can be friends. Not any more." Clark sighed heavily. "Things have changed."

Lana picked up her steaming mug and blew on it. She took a sip, then set it down, leveling her dark gaze straight at him. "Maybe not as much as you think."

Clark stared back. And suddenly, it all seemed so wrong, sitting here in The Beanery, having a companionable chat with his, and Lex’s, rejected girlfriend with Lex’s child kicking inside him.

An unexpected wave of dizziness surprised him. "I have to go," he muttered uneasily, and began to push back his chair, stopping abruptly when he realized the chance he’d be taking. She could notice.

Lana had that quizzical look on her face that she always got when she was both puzzled and amused. "Clark, is there something wrong?"

"No, I--" He forced a smile, settled back into his seat, and grasped his plastic cup. He sipped, draining the cup through the straw, emptying it with a gurgle as the fluid disappeared. He could feel blood flowing back to his cheeks as the nausea passed. "Guess I’ll... have another shake."

Lana grinned. "Sure." She shook her head as Clark reached for his wallet. "It’s on me."

Clark shook his head. "Lana, you don’t have to do that."

"I want to." She slid three dollar bills from her purse. "I want to celebrate our being friends again. Even if you’re the one living with a billionaire now."

She must have seen his face change, because she said: "I didn’t really mean that."

Even considering his jitters beforehand, Clark couldn’t believe how appalling this conversation was turning out to be. He cleared his throat in something like desperation and tried again. "I never meant to hurt you. Believe me."

"I know that, Clark. You couldn’t help what happened. I really loved you, but you didn’t want me. I guess now I know why. Why it didn’t work for me with either of you."

"I’m sorry." Clark said. "So sorry. I know Lex didn’t mean to hurt you, either."

He almost thought he perceived a flash of bitterness in her gaze, which disappeared almost instantly. But he could have imagined it.

Lana held up Clark's empty cup and flagged another waitress, who bounced over to the booth. "Make it a ‘large’ this time. Though that might not be the best idea." She looked him up, then down, with a chuckle. "Looks like you’ve put on a little weight!"

Clark’s stomach clenched and gave an uncomfortable flip that had nothing to do with the baby. "Maybe a little."

"I understand. Believe me. Food is a ‘bonding’ thing. I ate more mocha mint ice cream and Chinese takeout when I lived with Lex than ever before, or since." She laughed, a warm, companionable sound that sent him back to the fall after graduation when they were the happiest together they’d ever been. "Anyway, Clark, I hope we can do this again. Even if we just meet once a week for coffee and a talk? A short one?" She reached across the table to lay her hand on his. "It would mean so much to me."

Clark considered. His instincts blared that it was wrong, all wrong, not the least because he was far from sure he could continue to be the first one to arrive at wherever they were meeting and conceal his condition. No doubt it would be best to cut all ties with Lana now, no matter the history of friendship they shared. For both their sakes.

"Lana, I don’t--"

She leaned closer. "Please, Clark."

Clark thinned his lips glumly, because there was absolutely no way he could agree.

As the waitress returned with his next, gigantic, shake, he was astounded to hear himself say: "Okay, sure."

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