Crossroads - Chapter 11

by a campbell

Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, PG-13

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Lana stretched and yawned in the middle of the study floor on her way to the kitchen, still wearing the velvet robe that was Lex’s latest gift. She glanced toward the window: finally: a sunny day after so much rain. Buds were turning to leaves in the mansion garden and fat, nesting robins bobbed among crocuses and narcissi. A whole day before her, to fill however she chose.

Lex had taken the jet to Korea before dawn, promising to be back by evening. And Lana pondered just how she might best occupy the time between now and then. Continue teaching herself the piano? Having some more elementary sheet music would help. Read a book from the massive library? Funny: she didn’t enjoy reading as much as she once had. Explore an unseen wing of the mansion? Perhaps.

If only Lex weren’t so occupied with business at present. Their relationship was new, and so precious, so in need of care and attention. They should be together, all day, every day. She missed him every moment he was away, wanted to learn more about him, explore all the ways they were so alike.

Both left adrift by everyone else they’d ever cared about. Thank God they’d found each other at last.

“Lana.” A familiar voice echoed in the quiet room.

Dread pooling in her stomach, she jolted around. Clark stood in the doorway. Jeans and flannel, so out of place in the majestic elegance of this house.

Her heart flipped, then cooled into a block of ice. "What the hell are you doing here?" She spat the words, fumbling with the silk belt of her robe, pulling it tight, then drawing the fabric closer around her body before crossing her arms, tight, in front of her. "And how in hell did you get past security?"

She willed herself not to process how beautiful Clark was, still, summoned all the dislike and distrust at her command to drown any remaining tenderness from days past. He’d always lied to her, never been honest. Toyed with her heart and mind until both were bruised, beaten and desolate. Then rejected her, twice, with never an explanation. It still shamed her to remember how she’s gone back so easily, only to be devastated all over again.

And even now, he couldn’t let her be, to savor this new love that had come her way. Still intruding, reminding her with woeful gaze and constant equivocation of the crushing disappointment of years spent loving him.

"I’ve been here for awhile." Clark replied, stepping into the room, gaze dark and earnest.

Handsome, yet haggard, almost as he’d been during the paranoid spell the past winter. And a tad out of shape; he’d put on a little weight, while her mirror daily showed her she herself had grown sleeker, leaner, darker. She focused her attention, narrowed her gaze and continued.

"I don’t know why you think you can just waltz in here whenever...How could you have been? But then, you always have had ways around just about everything, haven’t you, Clark?"

Clark let her caustic words glance off as he always did. Lana raised her jaw defiantly, daring him to speak again.

"Lana, I know Lex is out of the country today. We need to talk, you and I."

"'You and I' have nothing to say to each other," she snapped caustically. "And correct me if I’m mistaken, but didn’t your friendship with Lex end a while ago, too?"

"Lana, we have to talk," he repeated. "You and Lex--you can’t be together. I--.”

How dare he. After everything that had happened, the way he’d treated her. "Clark, the days of my needing your protection are over. Lex and I are a couple, now, so you may as well just accept it. It’s over between you and me. For good."

"Lana, please listen. I know you and Lex have gotten really close. But there’s a lot you don’t know. If you’ll just give me half an hour, I can..." He hesitated, as though searching desperately for the right words. “Lana, if you ever loved me...if you ever had feelings for me at all--"

"I’ll never leave Lex. I trust him. He’s honest with me. Something you never were. He loves me." She faltered, cursing the weakness inside, coaxing her to believe him yet again. She should be beyond this now, able to resist the pleading in Clark's gaze, the earnest tone of his voice. She should be strong. For Lex, and for herself.

"As far as that goes, I’m sure that’s true," Clark stepped closer. Lana swallowed hard and stepped back, colliding with Lex’s desk. “But there are things he hasn’t told you."

"I don’t believe there’s anything Lex has told you that I don’t know."

"Well, if you put it that way, no. But--"

Lana sighed heavily. "Clark, I’m through wasting my time listening to anything you have to say. I gave you hundreds of chances to be honest with me, and they were all wasted. Lies, always. I’ve moved on. It’s time for you to do the same."

"Lana, I’m asking you one last time: please, just hear me out."

"Would it convince you to leave us alone if I told you Lex and I are engaged to be married?"

Lana shook back her hair and gazed at him in triumph. She saw the blood drain from his face, his expression changing as though she had struck him. She swallowed hard, both triumph and desolation battling for control of her emotions. Clark just stood, staring at her, mouth half open.

"Lana, I...didn’t know." He looked away, then down at the floor.

She lowered her voice, demanding, lethal and determined: "Now will you go?"

Without a word further, Clark turned dazedly and strode from the room.

Lana remained staring at the closed double doors for at least sixty seconds, listening to the ticking of the study clock. She waited, half expecting Clark to return.

When he didn’t, she stepped dazedly to the drink cart. Fumbled for the scotch decanter and poured, then reached for the ice bucket and tongs with shaking hands, dropping one cube, then another, into the glass, even though she had yet to eat breakfast.

Clark had drawn his own conclusions, she told herself as she sipped and swallowed, cringing as the liquor burned in her throat. She hadn’t exactly told a lie. Hadn’t said: "Lex asked me to marry him."

Because he hadn’t, not yet. But it was surely only a matter of time before he did.

She trusted Lex. He wouldn’t deceive her, reject her, abandon her. Ever.

She tipped the glass, gulped, grimaced, but kept on drinking till the tumbler was empty.

The heat of Clark’s strong body, the touch of his mouth, warm, wet on hers.

Why had he stopped loving her?

She picked up the decanter again and willed herself to forget.

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